


The Judas Kiss

by Sairyn



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sairyn/pseuds/Sairyn
Summary: Donna kissed Harvey. He didn't ask her to, he didn't even want her too. It came out of nowhere. When Mike confronts him about it, Harvey learns that kiss could cost him everything





	The Judas Kiss

_[I love you more than you'll ever know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dko6eQl4w2s)\- Donny Hathaway_

 

_What was he supposed to do?_

That was the question Harvey asked of himself as he sat alone on his … _their_ condo floor. Of course, no one knew that last part; that this was now as much Mike's home as it was Harvey’s. And wasn't that the problem? It was a mutual decision, he told himself, but the truth refused to be silenced. It was his decision, Mike just went along with it. If it was exposed; Harvey Specter...gay? What would people think? How would that affect his career? And he wasn't gay. Not really; he still loved women. He’s bi. A secret he unwillingly exposed to Paula a couple of years ago when he couldn't stop the feelings from crashing over him uncontrollably in panic attacks. Looking back, Harvey doesn't know how he survived Mike going to jail. All he knew was when he got out, he wanted him by his side during the day and beside him in bed every night. 

Harvey spent so many wasted moments wondering should he or shouldn't he say something to Mike, knowing he was still planning on marrying Rachel. At least that was the plan. But like everything else, plans can sometimes go awry. Turned out that Rachel enjoyed being a bit more independent without the shadow of Mike around. And Mike, well as he told it to him that night, Mike discovered he would rather be here with him. It was a surprise to them both, that confession. But it opened the door to well…everything.

Their first kiss was shy, hesitant. Each of them moving slowly as if giving the other a chance to change their mind. The soft brush of closed lips slotting into place; the initial shock dissolving into something unfamiliar yet familiar as their kiss deepened. Tentative hands crawled up Harvey’s arms; the touch, setting Harvey’s skin on fire. He remembers Mike’s eyes as he pulled back, giving them both a moment to regain their breath. The desire in them, the raw need blazing from some hidden place. Harvey always thought himself the strong one, the one that would sit in the first chair and take the lead. But that night, Harvey found himself in an unusual position. That night, he would be the follower, he would be the one to surrender.

As if reading Harvey’s thoughts, a small smile found its way to Mike’s lips as he leaned back into him, pressing him back up against the wall. Tender kisses crept along his lips, his cheeks, the corners of his eyes. Each one was soft, reverent, and full of emotion. Harvey sighed, his arms reaching out to clutch Mike to him, his body seeking more of this man he knew he loved but hadn't had the courage to say the words out loud. When Mike’s hands began untucking Harvey’s shirt seeking skin and ran his hands up the planes of his back, Harvey’s knees threatened to buckle. Mike held him steady, before moving those same hands around to his chest, across his peaked nipples.

“Harvey,” Mike whispered, moist breath at his earlobe, that caused Harvey to shiver.

“Yes. Whatever the question is, the answer is yes,” he answered back breathily.

Mike cradled his face next, staring deep into his eyes as if searching for a lie in his response. Whatever he saw in Harvey, probably the raw emotion, was enough to satisfy him. Long, deft fingers gingerly found the top button, pushing it slowly through the accompanying hole. Once released, he kissed the exposed area before moving to the next button. Mike did this with each one, while Harvey watched amazed that something so simple, could be so sensual. When he was done, he kissed Harvey again, deeply, his tongue swirling and playing with his own. Harvey never heard the shirt hit the floor, never felt the cool breeze on his flushed skin. Just felt Mike’s hands across his chest up to his shoulders and down over to his back. Harvey’s mind didn't come back online until he felt Mike stop, taking a step back. His fingers edged along his waistband, asked once again, sought permission. Harvey couldn't stop the groan that fell from his lips. Mike smirked and for one brief moment, Harvey found his footing, pulled Mike back in for a bruising kiss, while those same damn fingers quickly unbuckled and unzipped before stopping. Mike broke the kiss and grabbed Harvey’s hand, moving them away from the wall, towards Harvey’s bedroom.

“Come with me?” Mike asked slyly.

The double entendre was not lost on Harvey. Mike’s skin was flushed, his lips swollen and bruised in the best way and Harvey was captivated.

“Definitely,” he answered.

Harvey gave himself to Mike that night, in every way possible. Mike already owned his heart, and that night he gave him his body. Mike touched and licked and stroked his way across Harvey’s skin, branded him, claimed him. Mike opened him up slowly, with his kisses, with his tongue and then with his fingers. When they were joined with nothing between them, they learned just like in every other way, they fit together perfectly. Harvey held on to Mike as they pushed and pulled their way through their lovemaking. The soft roll of hips, grew into long, slow thrusts until there was nothing but the snapping of hips, the thump of the headboard as it met the wall repeatedly and the broken guttural declarations of _yes_ , _right there_ , _please_ and _now_. When it was all over; when the world came back into focus it looked different, it looked right, it looked perfect. Harvey slept in Mike’s arms that night and it was better than he had in years. Batman and Robin had become more, become one, and nothing was going to change that. Or so he had hoped.

Tonight, when he walked through his door, Mike wasn't here. Worse, Harvey had no idea if he was coming back. When you have had everything whisked away from you at a moment's notice, you find yourself trying to remember the moment or moments that were not taken. How many times could he have come clean, shown Mike and the world how important he was to him, told him he loved him? But now, he feared he ruined it, ruined everything. Donny Hathaway wailed in the empty room, echoing his sentiment.

 

_Is that anyway for a man to carry on_

_Do you think I want my loved one gone_

_Said I love you_

_More than you'll ever know_

_More than you'll ever know_  

 

Harvey thought back to their last conversation, how Mike had looked- eyes red and straining not to cry as he forced the truth from Harvey’s lips.

“Is it true? Did you kiss her?” he demanded.

“Mike… she…”

“Did. You. Kiss. Her?”

“Yes, but..it didn't…” He never got to finish.

“She came to me, you know…,” Mike said, interrupting Harvey’s thoughts, his voice shaky with emotion. “I told her to go for it..to stop hiding. I never thought you would let her… Well, maybe I should I have told you that instead. I'm done hiding Harvey. I've wasted too many years hiding one part or another of myself.”

When he turned to go, Harvey lunged for the lithe man, a broken plea on his lips.

“Mike..wait…”

A plea that was heard but unanswered.

Now, here alone, he was angry; angry at Donna. How dare she, after all these years. She knew he was “seeing someone”- although most assumed it was Paula. Shame fed his guilt. Harvey wanted to apologize, wanted to crawl down on his knees and ask for Mike’s forgiveness. But his pride wouldn't let him call. Wouldn't let him beg. He didn't know how long he sat there. So lost in his thoughts he never heard the snick of the lock. He looked up in time to see Mike coming through the door.

_Fuck pride!_ He thought.

“Mike...,” he started.

“Harvey…,” Mike's voice was hoarse, low, and broken. Harvey knew that voice; heard the resignation within it. It was over, at least for Mike.

But Harvey couldn't let him; couldn't take the chance of Mike delivering his goodbye and walking out of his life forever.

“I love you,” he blurted out.

Those three little words slipped out of Harvey’s lips without permission. He may have never said it, but he sure as hell felt it.

“Please, Mike. I… I don't think I can… I love you...I need you...I didn't ask… she kissed me. I felt nothing. What we had was over years ago. I swear, Mike, if you take me back...I will scream it from the mountaintops that I am yours. You have all the power here...I can't do any of this without…”

Mike's body crashed into his, cutting off the rest of his confession. When the kiss ended, Mike’s face was wet and Harvey’s eyes were filled with unshed tears.

“You had me at ‘I love you’.”

“You have me forever.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So..I haven't watched the episode- but its everywhere- Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter- the Darvey kiss. The kiss that made no absolute sense in my mind. So I found a way to make it all better- make it Marvey worthy.
> 
> Thanks to my girl Novemeberhush who played 'Name that fic' with me. 
> 
> Hope this helps, Marvey fans!!
> 
> Sai~
> 
> Catch me on Tumblr @[Sairyn-noc](https://sairyn-noc.tumblr.com/)


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